"It has been almost a month since I last posted!", Boskoe thought to himself. "December is almost coming to an end...need to put in a post before the 31st" - Boskoe had set himself a target of posting at least twice every month. He had planned to scale up after about 3 months or so!
"So what do I post about? Should I talk about the Singur controversy?...or should I offer my opinions on the Jessica Lal case sentencing?"
"hmm...Ok - let me try to write a review on some of the recent movies - but which one? I dont find any of them interesting...and anyways - more interesting reviews by far better writers can be seen here and here!"
"What about a short story - one with a twist in the ending...or probably the poignant tale of a farmer who is preparing to commit suicide...or it could be about perfect numbers and their uses" - Boskoe was now clearly desperate!
Suddenly a thought struck him - "Yes! why not? After all, that is also interesting..."
"I will write a post on my attempt to find a suitable subject for a post!!!!!"
Pleased with this idea, Boskoe started furiously punching away on his laptop.
He began - ""It has been almost a month since I last posted!", Boskoe thought to himself. "December is almost coming to an end...need to put in a post before the 31st" - Boskoe had set himself a..."
As an afterthought, he even placed a link at the end of his post to his own post here.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
Nonsense and Hypocrisy!
Trains, buses, cars, shops and houses were stoned and burnt in Mumbai, because a statue in Kanpur was desecrated by a drunk fellow.
I was contemplating the sheer stupidity of the whole situation and also wondering whether a potato had more IQ than the combined intelligence of the protesting mobs, when I noticed something else...
The Hindu has noted that this protest was actually against the government apathy in the case of the Khairlanji massacre. They have asked us to introspect the reasons for the violence. This is completely ridiculous.
Agreed that the Khairlanji incident was outrageous. The Bhotmange family deserves justice. But, is destroying public and private properties the way to achieve this? Why should people who have nothing do with the incident be punished? Tell me something - when the trains (with passengers in it) were burnt in Godhra, there were similar backlashes in Gujarat resulting in the riots in which Muslims were targetted. How is this incident different from that? In this case too, completely unrelated people in Mumbai were targetted for the above incidents. And post-riots there was all round condemnation of the Gujarat govt and Narendra Modi (rightly so!) for their handling and implicit support for the pogrom! Why is there not a similar condemnation for this event? Why weren't we asked to understand the basis for the riots then? I wonder why?
Note that I am not trying to justify the riots or supporting Narendra Modi. In my opinion, both these events are similar - and just indicates the impunity with which we Indians are allowed to break the law. If one incident has been condemned, then the other deserves equal condemnation.
Nothing justifies damage to public and private property. For all the people crying hoarse and justifying the violence, all I have to say is - please be consistent, otherwise you are no different from the idiots who justified the riots in Gujarat!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Interesting webcomic Link...
Check this link - A webcomic site with interesting takes on science, maths, sarcasm and language!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Priyanka Bhotmange... Status Update
As per the latest news, the govt has ordered a CID investigation into the incident. Hope that the guilty are punished as soon as possible. Also, hope that the administration officers like the Police (who were slow in issuing an FIR) and the hospital authorities (who gave a medical report that the women were NOT raped) are also punished for dereliction of duty. If anything, their crime is much worse than that of the perpetrators!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Roadtrip in Mumbai
7:
7:
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
So what was Krishnaswami thinking when he said yes to her?
Ammani has an interesting series of questions, where readers (writers????) are encouraged to write a short story around the question.
In this case, the question was: So what was Krishnaswami thinking when he said yes to her?
My story below:
Krishnaswami had spent a sleepless night.
In an unnatural act of parental responsibility - he had agreed to help his daughter with her homework. Solving multiple variable linear equations and identifying the capitals of various sub-saharan countries had given him a bruised ego, as he realized that he really did not know much. But, the real brain scrambler came when his daughter asked him, "Appa, how do you spell bo'sun?" When he gave the logical response - B-O-S-U-N, she replied - "No Appa, our teacher said that is not the correct spelling - and we have to find the correct spelling by tomorrow!"
He was still thinking about this the next morning as he boarded the bus to T Nagar. He was already late for office, but his mind was pre-occupied with the possible spelling of bo'sun (B-O-T-S-O-N-E). "These english idiots - why do they not make their words spell the way they sound!", he thought to himself.
He saw the lady in the seat next to him get up. He eagerly jumped into the vacant seat.
He was thinking,"Let me try again - "Bee - Wow - Eay - Tee..."
The girl standing next to him gave him a hard prod and said - "Excuse me! You are sitting on a seat reserved for Ladies. Do you think I am an idiot standing here?"
"...Yess...ouch!" he screamed, pained at the prod that the girl had given him.
"What? You think I am an idiot?", The girl screamed!
As the good samaritans bundled Krishnaswamy out of the bus (presumably as punishment for usurping the ladies seat and calling her an idiot), he was still trying to figure out the way bo'sun was spelt, not knowing that it was B-O-A-T-S-W-A-I-N!
In this case, the question was: So what was Krishnaswami thinking when he said yes to her?
My story below:
Krishnaswami had spent a sleepless night.
In an unnatural act of parental responsibility - he had agreed to help his daughter with her homework. Solving multiple variable linear equations and identifying the capitals of various sub-saharan countries had given him a bruised ego, as he realized that he really did not know much. But, the real brain scrambler came when his daughter asked him, "Appa, how do you spell bo'sun?" When he gave the logical response - B-O-S-U-N, she replied - "No Appa, our teacher said that is not the correct spelling - and we have to find the correct spelling by tomorrow!"
He was still thinking about this the next morning as he boarded the bus to T Nagar. He was already late for office, but his mind was pre-occupied with the possible spelling of bo'sun (B-O-T-S-O-N-E). "These english idiots - why do they not make their words spell the way they sound!", he thought to himself.
He saw the lady in the seat next to him get up. He eagerly jumped into the vacant seat.
He was thinking,"Let me try again - "Bee - Wow - Eay - Tee..."
The girl standing next to him gave him a hard prod and said - "Excuse me! You are sitting on a seat reserved for Ladies. Do you think I am an idiot standing here?"
"...Yess...ouch!" he screamed, pained at the prod that the girl had given him.
"What? You think I am an idiot?", The girl screamed!
As the good samaritans bundled Krishnaswamy out of the bus (presumably as punishment for usurping the ladies seat and calling her an idiot), he was still trying to figure out the way bo'sun was spelt, not knowing that it was B-O-A-T-S-W-A-I-N!
Priyanka Bhotmange
Priyanka Bhotmange and her mother were brutally raped and her brothers were killed - in yet another example of the lawlessness that prevails in some parts of this country.
Krish has raised a very interesting question. I think the incident has not got the due publicity it deserves. Nobody is outraged at this gross injustice - most probably because the incident happened in a "relatively" remote area. We need to put sufficient pressure to ensure that justice is done in this case.
In fact, this is probably not an isolated case. There are probably many more unreported incidents of such injustice. This is yet another example of how the so called privliged sections are able to use the powers in their authority to brutally suppress the underprivliged sections.
I am ashamed to see that on one hand we claim to be the "next superpower" while indulging in such medieval acts of suppression. We cannot claim to be a democracy if we cannot implement basic law and order in each and every district in our country. In fact, the best way to ensure that such incidents do not occur again, is to ensure that the perpetrators are caught and punished as soon as possible.
I hope this is done before the politicians jump into the act, offering their "sympathies"!
You can get more details about the incident here and pictures of the incident here.
Update: Extreme uproar over the pictures... but wait a minute! they are not condemning the incident, only the fact that the pictures have been posted! Wow - talk about "missing the point"! Stupidity, it seems, is not restricted to the main stream media, but also afflicts the blogosphere denizens.
Krish has raised a very interesting question. I think the incident has not got the due publicity it deserves. Nobody is outraged at this gross injustice - most probably because the incident happened in a "relatively" remote area. We need to put sufficient pressure to ensure that justice is done in this case.
In fact, this is probably not an isolated case. There are probably many more unreported incidents of such injustice. This is yet another example of how the so called privliged sections are able to use the powers in their authority to brutally suppress the underprivliged sections.
I am ashamed to see that on one hand we claim to be the "next superpower" while indulging in such medieval acts of suppression. We cannot claim to be a democracy if we cannot implement basic law and order in each and every district in our country. In fact, the best way to ensure that such incidents do not occur again, is to ensure that the perpetrators are caught and punished as soon as possible.
I hope this is done before the politicians jump into the act, offering their "sympathies"!
You can get more details about the incident here and pictures of the incident here.
Update: Extreme uproar over the pictures... but wait a minute! they are not condemning the incident, only the fact that the pictures have been posted! Wow - talk about "missing the point"! Stupidity, it seems, is not restricted to the main stream media, but also afflicts the blogosphere denizens.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Capital Punishment and clemency
Lots of blog posts have been dedicated to protest the capital punishment awarded to Afzal Guru. Yesterday, Santosh Singh - of the Priyadarshini Mattoo case - was sentenced to death. I am now waiting for the same people to start posting their take on the whole issue!
As an aside, I had blogged about the Priyadarshini Matto case here!
As an aside, I had blogged about the Priyadarshini Matto case here!
Monday, October 30, 2006
The Power of Analogies...
Sheikh Taj el-Din al-Hilali has been in the news recently, when he demonstrated his stupendous skills to analyze and explain human psychology. Social psychologists and legal luminaries have been trying for years to understand the root causes of rapes and injustices on women, but were not able to isolate any rott causes - at least, till Al Hilali came along.
In a path-breaking speech to his followers, Al Hilali explained the main reason for rapes. Contrary to popular opinion, it is not men who are responsible for the rapes, but the women who invite themselves to be raped. Explaining this difficult and profound concept to his followers, Al Hilali used examples from daily life to clarify the idea.
He gave the example of a piece of uncovered meat that is kept outside attracting cats, to explain how men are not in control of their senses and will automatically get "coerced" into behaving like cats..
"Such clarity of thought...", exclaimed one of his followers after the speech. "I mean - who would have thought of such a beautiful analogy to explain such an important concept."
Another supporter said, "Move over, Perelman - if you managed to solve the Poincare conjecture, big deal!! Al Hilali has been able to solve a problem that has been plaguing human beings and cats alike for ages"
Last heard, Al Hilali is planning to modify the analogy to suit his audiences - "sweets" replacing "meat" and "flies" instead of "cats" for vegetarian audiences; "fodder" and "cows" respectively for Bihar politicians,...etc
In addition, Hilali would also be presenting a paper on "Similarities between male humans and male cats..." in the next World Psychology Conference.
If there was a nobel prize in psychology, Al Hilali would have won that hands-down this year.
Here is hoping that we get to see more of his nuanced interpretations of life!
In a path-breaking speech to his followers, Al Hilali explained the main reason for rapes. Contrary to popular opinion, it is not men who are responsible for the rapes, but the women who invite themselves to be raped. Explaining this difficult and profound concept to his followers, Al Hilali used examples from daily life to clarify the idea.
He gave the example of a piece of uncovered meat that is kept outside attracting cats, to explain how men are not in control of their senses and will automatically get "coerced" into behaving like cats..
"Such clarity of thought...", exclaimed one of his followers after the speech. "I mean - who would have thought of such a beautiful analogy to explain such an important concept."
Another supporter said, "Move over, Perelman - if you managed to solve the Poincare conjecture, big deal!! Al Hilali has been able to solve a problem that has been plaguing human beings and cats alike for ages"
Last heard, Al Hilali is planning to modify the analogy to suit his audiences - "sweets" replacing "meat" and "flies" instead of "cats" for vegetarian audiences; "fodder" and "cows" respectively for Bihar politicians,...etc
In addition, Hilali would also be presenting a paper on "Similarities between male humans and male cats..." in the next World Psychology Conference.
If there was a nobel prize in psychology, Al Hilali would have won that hands-down this year.
Here is hoping that we get to see more of his nuanced interpretations of life!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Brown study...
Apparently, gazing away into the horizon is supposed to improve your concentration! Good!!! So,now you know why I look like I am not paying attention, when you are telling me something - in fact, I am concentrating and thinking on your words.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Steve Irwin: Rest-in-peace
Steve Irwin is no more!
His show on Animal Planet never ceased to amaze me! I was, of course put off as many others, when he got his son into the picture! However that was quickly forgotten. What used to strike me most was his enthusiasm while working with animals - here was a man who loved his job! What I would give to be in his position (of loving one's job, NOT arm-wrestling with killer crocs! :D )
May his soul rest in peace!
His show on Animal Planet never ceased to amaze me! I was, of course put off as many others, when he got his son into the picture! However that was quickly forgotten. What used to strike me most was his enthusiasm while working with animals - here was a man who loved his job! What I would give to be in his position (of loving one's job, NOT arm-wrestling with killer crocs! :D )
May his soul rest in peace!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Flying Etiquettes
In response to the treatment meted out to the 12 passengers on the Northwestern Airlines, much has been written about 'racial discrimination' and 'people of certain communities being branded as terrorists'.
However, all I have to say is that - if these people did not follow the instructions to switch off their mobiles and remain in their seats while the flight is taking off, then they deserve the treatment. In fact, I have observed many Indians behaving in a boorish manner in flights - scrambling to get their baggage out of the overhead lockers as soon as the plane touches the ground, talking on the phones while the plane is taxiing to take off or land, loud conversations without bothering about the other people's wish for silence - the list is endless!
Next step - introduce similar 'disciplinary actions' in movie halls in India. I say, kick those idiots out (and place them in solitary confinement) who keep their cell phones on during movies, who talk to their neighbours loudly during the movie, who decide to get up out of their seats for a bathroom break in the middle of a movie etc etc.
However, all I have to say is that - if these people did not follow the instructions to switch off their mobiles and remain in their seats while the flight is taking off, then they deserve the treatment. In fact, I have observed many Indians behaving in a boorish manner in flights - scrambling to get their baggage out of the overhead lockers as soon as the plane touches the ground, talking on the phones while the plane is taxiing to take off or land, loud conversations without bothering about the other people's wish for silence - the list is endless!
Next step - introduce similar 'disciplinary actions' in movie halls in India. I say, kick those idiots out (and place them in solitary confinement) who keep their cell phones on during movies, who talk to their neighbours loudly during the movie, who decide to get up out of their seats for a bathroom break in the middle of a movie etc etc.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Blogging activity...
Blogging activity has reduced partly because of a locational transfer from US to India, and partly because of the purported 'ban' on blogsites instituted by the Government.
Detailed blogging to come soon...!
Detailed blogging to come soon...!
Monday, June 12, 2006
The Commencement Address
Fifteen years from now, when I am invited to address the graduating batch in my alma mater, what will I tell them? (Why would I be the one who is selected for this honor, you ask? That is the topic of a future post)
Do I tell them about my achievements? Or do I tell them to believe in themselves and dream on? Or do I tell them to wear sunscreen?
Hmmm…good questions! And since, most of the audience will be eagerly holding on to each and every pearl of wisdom that I will be showering them with – I should start preparing for the grand event right away! So, here’s the first draft of my commencement speech for the batch of 2021! (Advance apologies, in case I unknowingly “internalized” any of the aforementioned commencement speeches!)
Batch of 2021! Twenty five years ago, I was sitting where you are sitting now. I was waiting for this long speech to get over, take my degree and then head out for an overnight drinking session with my friends. I did not pay too much attention to what was being said on that occasion, and was just glad to finally get my degree in my hand.
The statements so far do not have anything to do with the rest of my speech, but I had always wanted to say these things as part of my speech. So, now that part is taken care of, here is the rest of it!
During my working career, I have been forwarded several famous commencement speeches. As a Good Samaritan, I forwarded many of these across to others who wished to be successful. I have seen that almost all of these speeches contain quite a lot of general messages – be good, do good, be brave and dream, fail and then succeed, be honest, blah blah… Not one of them had any useful message on how to be truly successful.
As MBAs who are waiting to unleash their intellectual prowess on the world, you will no doubt be looking for tips to succeed. These commencement speeches will surely not help you! So, I have decided to compile together the secrets of my success. If you have any doubts as to whether these are effective or not, you can look at me as an example of the impact of putting these tenets to practice! After all, I did not become a trillionaire just by selling some innovative service / product, or marrying into a rich family, or winning a lottery!
Always blame it on others!
There will be lot of occasions when the crap will hit the fan. And when it does, you will be well prepared to make sure you have an umbrella! Whenever any of your initiatives fail magnificently, you should be sure to blame the whole fiasco on the incompetence of your team. The true measure of your success depends on how elegantly you deflect the blame. Phrases like “I take full responsibility for the failure of my team, but there is a limit to what I can achieve alone” and “the project failed due to many reasons, not the least of which was complete lack of support…” need to be used liberally during the judgment sessions that follow any such event.
Do not be afraid to quote statistics, even if they are made up!
73.42% of all statistics are made on the spot. So, when you are challenged by anyone who does not agree to your idea, be sure to use statistics as your weapon. Consider a scenario where you have proposed developing a flying machine for 1 person. When any unfortunate soul dares to ask you as to the practicality of such an invention, retort with statistics like “33% of all men have expressed their desire to fly alone at least once, with at most one other person, in their lifetime”. You may encounter some smart people who may ask you to provide the sources of your statistical information. You can retort that these studies are available for everyone to read on the internet, and that only a person with an IQ less than that of a potato will fail to see the business potential of this idea.
Always present a contrarian view!
Senior management of any company hates the concept of “yes men”! As a corollary, they love people who present contrarian views. There is a thin line of difference between being a contrarian and being a pessimist who opposes any idea being discussed. The trick is to be not too vehement with your views. So, let’s say everyone agrees that it is a good idea for the company to implement an ERP system to enable better information availability. You can give a knowing smirk and remark “I don’t agree with the point that the system will improve the performance of the company.” If you are challenged to support your statement, always refer to strategy #2 – use statistics liberally. However, at the same time, if you feel that people are very convinced by the idea, you can gracefully step aside with remarks like “I clearly seem to be in the minority and hence will not discuss this further…” Such a position also helps you to effectively use strategy #1 – blaming it on others – when things go wrong.
Use non-sequiturs when asked a question you don’t know the answer to!
Never directly answer any question. Consultants have honed this to a fine art and you can learn something from them. The standard answer to any question is “It depends…”! You should then proceed to look longingly into the horizon contemplating the future of humanity. Others will take it as a sign of deep thought and will most probably leave you alone. For the more tenacious among them, you can retort with unconnected statements. The statement “Industry trends and economic conditions predict the widespread adoption of antidisestablishmentarianism tactics in society” is guaranteed to silence your most ardent critic.
Better Late!
Remember that whoever said “Better late than never” had it wrong. The correct version is “Better Late”. Being late not only gives you the capability to push your work to the last possible moment, but also gives the impression to others that you are doing so thorough a job, that you need the extra time. Of course, always accompany this with a slovenly appearance and an unkempt beard, so as to give the impression of working very hard.
The above five principles will help you become successful with the minimum efforts on your part. Remember one thing – adopt all the above principles, and make sure that everyone who works for you DO NOT follow these tenets. Once you get these basic requirements set, no one can stop you from succeeding!
Hope all of you have noted down these points of wisdom, and will use it effectively. These will help you do well in any company that you work with. I, however, will certainly not be recruiting any of you guys into my companies (as I said earlier, I DON’T WANT ANYONE WORKING FOR ME TO FOLLOW THESE PRECEPTS).
Good luck to all you!
Do I tell them about my achievements? Or do I tell them to believe in themselves and dream on? Or do I tell them to wear sunscreen?
Hmmm…good questions! And since, most of the audience will be eagerly holding on to each and every pearl of wisdom that I will be showering them with – I should start preparing for the grand event right away! So, here’s the first draft of my commencement speech for the batch of 2021! (Advance apologies, in case I unknowingly “internalized” any of the aforementioned commencement speeches!)
Batch of 2021! Twenty five years ago, I was sitting where you are sitting now. I was waiting for this long speech to get over, take my degree and then head out for an overnight drinking session with my friends. I did not pay too much attention to what was being said on that occasion, and was just glad to finally get my degree in my hand.
The statements so far do not have anything to do with the rest of my speech, but I had always wanted to say these things as part of my speech. So, now that part is taken care of, here is the rest of it!
During my working career, I have been forwarded several famous commencement speeches. As a Good Samaritan, I forwarded many of these across to others who wished to be successful. I have seen that almost all of these speeches contain quite a lot of general messages – be good, do good, be brave and dream, fail and then succeed, be honest, blah blah… Not one of them had any useful message on how to be truly successful.
As MBAs who are waiting to unleash their intellectual prowess on the world, you will no doubt be looking for tips to succeed. These commencement speeches will surely not help you! So, I have decided to compile together the secrets of my success. If you have any doubts as to whether these are effective or not, you can look at me as an example of the impact of putting these tenets to practice! After all, I did not become a trillionaire just by selling some innovative service / product, or marrying into a rich family, or winning a lottery!
Always blame it on others!
There will be lot of occasions when the crap will hit the fan. And when it does, you will be well prepared to make sure you have an umbrella! Whenever any of your initiatives fail magnificently, you should be sure to blame the whole fiasco on the incompetence of your team. The true measure of your success depends on how elegantly you deflect the blame. Phrases like “I take full responsibility for the failure of my team, but there is a limit to what I can achieve alone” and “the project failed due to many reasons, not the least of which was complete lack of support…” need to be used liberally during the judgment sessions that follow any such event.
Do not be afraid to quote statistics, even if they are made up!
73.42% of all statistics are made on the spot. So, when you are challenged by anyone who does not agree to your idea, be sure to use statistics as your weapon. Consider a scenario where you have proposed developing a flying machine for 1 person. When any unfortunate soul dares to ask you as to the practicality of such an invention, retort with statistics like “33% of all men have expressed their desire to fly alone at least once, with at most one other person, in their lifetime”. You may encounter some smart people who may ask you to provide the sources of your statistical information. You can retort that these studies are available for everyone to read on the internet, and that only a person with an IQ less than that of a potato will fail to see the business potential of this idea.
Always present a contrarian view!
Senior management of any company hates the concept of “yes men”! As a corollary, they love people who present contrarian views. There is a thin line of difference between being a contrarian and being a pessimist who opposes any idea being discussed. The trick is to be not too vehement with your views. So, let’s say everyone agrees that it is a good idea for the company to implement an ERP system to enable better information availability. You can give a knowing smirk and remark “I don’t agree with the point that the system will improve the performance of the company.” If you are challenged to support your statement, always refer to strategy #2 – use statistics liberally. However, at the same time, if you feel that people are very convinced by the idea, you can gracefully step aside with remarks like “I clearly seem to be in the minority and hence will not discuss this further…” Such a position also helps you to effectively use strategy #1 – blaming it on others – when things go wrong.
Use non-sequiturs when asked a question you don’t know the answer to!
Never directly answer any question. Consultants have honed this to a fine art and you can learn something from them. The standard answer to any question is “It depends…”! You should then proceed to look longingly into the horizon contemplating the future of humanity. Others will take it as a sign of deep thought and will most probably leave you alone. For the more tenacious among them, you can retort with unconnected statements. The statement “Industry trends and economic conditions predict the widespread adoption of antidisestablishmentarianism tactics in society” is guaranteed to silence your most ardent critic.
Better Late!
Remember that whoever said “Better late than never” had it wrong. The correct version is “Better Late”. Being late not only gives you the capability to push your work to the last possible moment, but also gives the impression to others that you are doing so thorough a job, that you need the extra time. Of course, always accompany this with a slovenly appearance and an unkempt beard, so as to give the impression of working very hard.
The above five principles will help you become successful with the minimum efforts on your part. Remember one thing – adopt all the above principles, and make sure that everyone who works for you DO NOT follow these tenets. Once you get these basic requirements set, no one can stop you from succeeding!
Hope all of you have noted down these points of wisdom, and will use it effectively. These will help you do well in any company that you work with. I, however, will certainly not be recruiting any of you guys into my companies (as I said earlier, I DON’T WANT ANYONE WORKING FOR ME TO FOLLOW THESE PRECEPTS).
Good luck to all you!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Invisibility Cloak
I made this as an entry to Amit's post, among my favorite bloggers (Amit...not the post :-) ) in the Indian blogosphere! So, here goes...
Invisibility Cloak and the top five things that I would do with it, if I got the chance:
5. Get into flights and visit countries - what better ways to get into exotic countries like Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran,... without a visa or a hefty insurance premium! I always wanted to visit them, but without any significant damage to life and limb!
4. Understand the decision making process of most ministers in our country - I always wondered what kind of thinking goes behind a policy decision. For example, Did Arjun Singh say, "Hmmm...let us see how to improve the plight of the OBC section of the country?" OR did he say, "Hmmm...how do I get back at Sonia for not making ME the PM?" Is there any better way to observe the men in action?
3. Attend all the film screenings that are made for the Indian Censor board - After all, that seems to be the only way I can watch a movie in India nowadays, without scenes being deleted or without any disclaimers being put up in the beginning of the movie.
2. Attend the meetings between heads of states - What kind of small talk happens between Manmohan Singh and Gen Musharraf when they meet up and the TV cameras have been switched off and the doors are closed? Does Manmohan say - "Haan Miya Mush, so what did you think about the shameful performance of the Indian cricket team? and ohh by the way, when are you shutting off the training camps?"
1. Re-stitch the invisibility cloak into an invisibility jump-suit - I think it will be pretty uncomfortable hiding inside a cloak, doing all the above. I will get it converted into a jump-suit - easier to wear and more comfortable to sneak around people.
Invisibility Cloak and the top five things that I would do with it, if I got the chance:
5. Get into flights and visit countries - what better ways to get into exotic countries like Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran,... without a visa or a hefty insurance premium! I always wanted to visit them, but without any significant damage to life and limb!
4. Understand the decision making process of most ministers in our country - I always wondered what kind of thinking goes behind a policy decision. For example, Did Arjun Singh say, "Hmmm...let us see how to improve the plight of the OBC section of the country?" OR did he say, "Hmmm...how do I get back at Sonia for not making ME the PM?" Is there any better way to observe the men in action?
3. Attend all the film screenings that are made for the Indian Censor board - After all, that seems to be the only way I can watch a movie in India nowadays, without scenes being deleted or without any disclaimers being put up in the beginning of the movie.
2. Attend the meetings between heads of states - What kind of small talk happens between Manmohan Singh and Gen Musharraf when they meet up and the TV cameras have been switched off and the doors are closed? Does Manmohan say - "Haan Miya Mush, so what did you think about the shameful performance of the Indian cricket team? and ohh by the way, when are you shutting off the training camps?"
1. Re-stitch the invisibility cloak into an invisibility jump-suit - I think it will be pretty uncomfortable hiding inside a cloak, doing all the above. I will get it converted into a jump-suit - easier to wear and more comfortable to sneak around people.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Sati Savitri (Long Post)
Dec 12 2005, 6 PM IST
“…and this, my dear Ladies and Gentlemen, is the Sati Samadhi!!!”, Raghu announced grandly.
It was evening and the sun had decided to call it a day and was silently making its getaway from the horizon. “I am done for the night, see you tomorrow at 6 AM”, It seemed to say.
Raghu’s audience comprised a motley group of tourists – a French couple, a young couple from Mumbai, a student in her mid-twenties and a businessman in his mid-thirties.
Raghu had been a guide for nearly twenty years by now, having started when he was 13 years old. He enjoyed being a guide, showing off the local sights and explaining the local history to people.
“How do you know that whatever ‘history’ you are telling people is correct?” Pushpa (his wife) had asked him once. “Well, that’s what I learnt from my father and grandfather!” Raghu had replied indignantly. His wife had a talent of asking very simple but thought-provoking questions. “Shut up and mind your own business”, He had retorted angrily, raising his hand to strike her. She had shrunk into a corner with a terrified look on her face.
Today had been a particularly good day for Raghu. He had captured this group at the local train station in the morning. Having fought off other prospective guides, he had herded them together and had promised them a tour of the countryside. “History of Madhopur is very amazing, you will find everything here – love, religion, politics, murder” – He had proclaimed to his hostages.
They had spent the entire day touring through the local forts, lakes, temples and market-places. They had stopped a while for lunch in the afternoon and tea in the evening.
By now, Raghu had formed impressions of everyone in the group. The French couple seemed to be very curious, asking a lot of questions. They reminded him of his wife, with her endless barrage of questions. “Stupid woman!” he thought of his wife. “Stupid French”, he added.
The Mumbai couple seemed least interested in these places. “They are looking for some lonely spots to indulge in some necking,…Crazy people!!!…Why don’t they just do it at home or in their city?”, Raghu wondered.
The student seemed to be harmless, taking down detailed notes of whatever he had to say.
He found the businessman very annoying. “Always jumping in to complete my statements…and trying so hard to impress that girl…idiot!”, he thought.
“…As if you are the most intelligent person in the world. God! You are very conceited…”, Pushpa had remarked. “What do you mean?” He had asked defensively. “You know…you think that you are better than everyone and know everything about anything. You refuse to listen to the other person’s point of view …” She explained. “I am NOT conceited, and I refuse to accept that I do not listen to people. I HATE you…”, Raghu said as he angrily stormed out of the house.
“So, what is special about this place?” the French guy asked. “Absolutely nothing, you bloody gora fool!!!” Raghu almost said it out aloud, but stopped himself in time. “Not good for business!” he reminded himself.
They were in front of a circular patch of land in front of a small lake. The land was fenced with barbed wire around the perimeter. At the center was a small dome shaped structure, made of marble. It resembled a temple, but instead of the deity, there was a single lamp with a small flame in it, on top of a pedestal.
The land around the dome structure seemed to be freshly dug up, ostensibly to make flower beds. A number of jasmine creepers and rose plants were already planted and the flowers were in bloom.
The setting sun, the lake, the single burning lamp and the scent of the jasmine and rose flowers together gave a very mystical look to the whole place.
“This is one of the greatest monuments to love! If you thought that the Taj Mahal was a symbol of a husband’s love for his wife, then this is an everlasting symbol of a wife’s sacrifice for her husband!”
The young couple looked at each other and smiled. “I will make a similar one for you when YOU die!” they seemed to be telling each other.
“Wow…please tell us more!” the student was looking at Raghu.
“Oh…I am sure it is some local legend, without any basis! You can see a lot of similar memorials based on some superstition or baseless story.” the businessman commented.
Raghu wanted to step forward and give him a slap. “How dare you comment on our culture, you imbecile! What gives you the right to say such things?” he thought to himself, barely controlling his fury.
“Do you know what your problem is? You have a big inferiority complex and a terrible temper.” Pushpa was sobbing in a corner. “What do you mean?” Raghu growled at her. He had completed a three hour drinking session at home with his friends. One of his friends had remarked that he was lucky to have such a beautiful wife. After his friends had left, he had thrown a couple of glasses and plates at Pushpa and punched her. “You must have jiggled your assets in front of him, it is your fault, never again come out in front of my friends…” he warned her, as she nursed her bruises. “...and don’t you dare talk to me in that tone, a wife’s job is to obey her husband and not be insolent!”
“No, it is NOT a baseless story, it is an actual historically documented fact…”, Raghu explained.
“Savitri is a character in Indian mythology. She is considered and revered as the most devoted and loving wife in the history of mankind. She is said to have forced Yama, the god of death to restore her dead husband, Satyavan, back to life. She went on a fast and followed Yama around till he agreed to not take her husband’s life.” Raghu informed everyone.
The businessman interjected, “By the way, just because the story is part of Indian mythology, does NOT make it a historically documented fact…”. He was looking for approval from the student he was trying to impress. The student ignored him, and Raghu glared at him.
Raghu continued, “This is the place, where Yama finally relented. The lamp that you see in front of you, is supposed to have been lit by them as a thanksgiving gesture to Yama. In fact, we have not let the lamp to be extinguished – each month, one of houses in the village takes on the responsibility of making sure that the lamp stays lit. We have been doing these for the past fourty generations. By the way, this month is my family’s turn.”
They had stepped into the enclosure. The French couple were clicking photographs of the lamp. The student was following Raghu and takng down notes as he talked. The businessman was following the student. The young couple were near the flower bed – the guy plucking a flower and placing it on the girl’s hair, while she was smiling shyly.
“So, does your wife come here daily and put oil in the lamp?”, the French lady asked him.
Raghu replied, “Yeah…she did that till a couple of weeks ago, but then she had to go to her parent’s home. So, my daughter does it nowadays.”
“This was the last stop of our tour of Madhopur. Hope all of you enjoyed it!” Raghu announced.
“Yeah, it was interesting…”, came the reply.
“So, hopefully you will be able to show your appreciation in your tips for me…”. Raghu licked his lips in anticipation of the monetary rewards coming his way soon.
They started walking back towards the van which would carry the group back to the railway station.
“Hey, what’s that over there?”, the businessman asked. He was pointing towards the end of the jasmine flowerbeds. It seemed to be slightly unevenly dug up.
“Oh that’s nothing! Probably a new flower bed being made there by the panchayat. Let us go, folks, it is getting dark.” Raghu said.
They started walking towards the van, with Raghu leading the way.
Two weeks ago…Nov 28 2005, 11 PM IST
“You and your stupid conspiracy theories”, Pushpa was angry now. “I can’t believe that you followed me all the way from home till here to check on me. For the last time, I DO NOT HAVE ANY EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS…”
She was standing at the Samadhi, with a can of oil in her hands. She had been filling the lamp with oil when she had sensed someone behind her. Turning around, she had seen Raghu standing behind her.
Raghu’s suspicion of Pushpa’s alleged illicit affairs had been growing for sometime now. In the beginning, he used to scold her for talking to his friends. But soon, he started publicly humiliating her, and sometimes even hitting her in front of his friends. She had tolerated it quietly initially, but off late had been trying to defend herself.
“Shut up, you bitch!” Raghu slapped Pushpa hard. She slipped backwards, hitting the lamp, crashing on the floor. She lay motionless there.
Raghu looked around nervously. “Get up!” he kicked pushpa. No response. He knelt down beside her. She wasn’t breathing. He saw a pool of blood slowly spreading beneath her head. Her head had struck the lamp as she fell. She was dead!
Raghu scrambled around. “What do I do now?” He was thinking furiously. He saw the nearby jasmine creeper flowerbed. There was a shovel nearby. The resident gardener had forgotten it there. He picked it up and quickly started digging.
One hour later, Raghu was sweating profusely, inspite of the November cold. He dragged Pushpa’s body and dumped into the freshly dug-up ditch, and started filling it.
“People will think that this is part of the flowerbed…”, he thought to himself.
As he started leaving, he noticed that the lamp was lying on the ground and not burning anymore.
The lamp had been burning for more than fourty generations!
He replaced the lamp on the pedestal, and took out his matchbox to light the lamp...
“…and this, my dear Ladies and Gentlemen, is the Sati Samadhi!!!”, Raghu announced grandly.
It was evening and the sun had decided to call it a day and was silently making its getaway from the horizon. “I am done for the night, see you tomorrow at 6 AM”, It seemed to say.
Raghu’s audience comprised a motley group of tourists – a French couple, a young couple from Mumbai, a student in her mid-twenties and a businessman in his mid-thirties.
Raghu had been a guide for nearly twenty years by now, having started when he was 13 years old. He enjoyed being a guide, showing off the local sights and explaining the local history to people.
“How do you know that whatever ‘history’ you are telling people is correct?” Pushpa (his wife) had asked him once. “Well, that’s what I learnt from my father and grandfather!” Raghu had replied indignantly. His wife had a talent of asking very simple but thought-provoking questions. “Shut up and mind your own business”, He had retorted angrily, raising his hand to strike her. She had shrunk into a corner with a terrified look on her face.
Today had been a particularly good day for Raghu. He had captured this group at the local train station in the morning. Having fought off other prospective guides, he had herded them together and had promised them a tour of the countryside. “History of Madhopur is very amazing, you will find everything here – love, religion, politics, murder” – He had proclaimed to his hostages.
They had spent the entire day touring through the local forts, lakes, temples and market-places. They had stopped a while for lunch in the afternoon and tea in the evening.
By now, Raghu had formed impressions of everyone in the group. The French couple seemed to be very curious, asking a lot of questions. They reminded him of his wife, with her endless barrage of questions. “Stupid woman!” he thought of his wife. “Stupid French”, he added.
The Mumbai couple seemed least interested in these places. “They are looking for some lonely spots to indulge in some necking,…Crazy people!!!…Why don’t they just do it at home or in their city?”, Raghu wondered.
The student seemed to be harmless, taking down detailed notes of whatever he had to say.
He found the businessman very annoying. “Always jumping in to complete my statements…and trying so hard to impress that girl…idiot!”, he thought.
“…As if you are the most intelligent person in the world. God! You are very conceited…”, Pushpa had remarked. “What do you mean?” He had asked defensively. “You know…you think that you are better than everyone and know everything about anything. You refuse to listen to the other person’s point of view …” She explained. “I am NOT conceited, and I refuse to accept that I do not listen to people. I HATE you…”, Raghu said as he angrily stormed out of the house.
“So, what is special about this place?” the French guy asked. “Absolutely nothing, you bloody gora fool!!!” Raghu almost said it out aloud, but stopped himself in time. “Not good for business!” he reminded himself.
They were in front of a circular patch of land in front of a small lake. The land was fenced with barbed wire around the perimeter. At the center was a small dome shaped structure, made of marble. It resembled a temple, but instead of the deity, there was a single lamp with a small flame in it, on top of a pedestal.
The land around the dome structure seemed to be freshly dug up, ostensibly to make flower beds. A number of jasmine creepers and rose plants were already planted and the flowers were in bloom.
The setting sun, the lake, the single burning lamp and the scent of the jasmine and rose flowers together gave a very mystical look to the whole place.
“This is one of the greatest monuments to love! If you thought that the Taj Mahal was a symbol of a husband’s love for his wife, then this is an everlasting symbol of a wife’s sacrifice for her husband!”
The young couple looked at each other and smiled. “I will make a similar one for you when YOU die!” they seemed to be telling each other.
“Wow…please tell us more!” the student was looking at Raghu.
“Oh…I am sure it is some local legend, without any basis! You can see a lot of similar memorials based on some superstition or baseless story.” the businessman commented.
Raghu wanted to step forward and give him a slap. “How dare you comment on our culture, you imbecile! What gives you the right to say such things?” he thought to himself, barely controlling his fury.
“Do you know what your problem is? You have a big inferiority complex and a terrible temper.” Pushpa was sobbing in a corner. “What do you mean?” Raghu growled at her. He had completed a three hour drinking session at home with his friends. One of his friends had remarked that he was lucky to have such a beautiful wife. After his friends had left, he had thrown a couple of glasses and plates at Pushpa and punched her. “You must have jiggled your assets in front of him, it is your fault, never again come out in front of my friends…” he warned her, as she nursed her bruises. “...and don’t you dare talk to me in that tone, a wife’s job is to obey her husband and not be insolent!”
“No, it is NOT a baseless story, it is an actual historically documented fact…”, Raghu explained.
“Savitri is a character in Indian mythology. She is considered and revered as the most devoted and loving wife in the history of mankind. She is said to have forced Yama, the god of death to restore her dead husband, Satyavan, back to life. She went on a fast and followed Yama around till he agreed to not take her husband’s life.” Raghu informed everyone.
The businessman interjected, “By the way, just because the story is part of Indian mythology, does NOT make it a historically documented fact…”. He was looking for approval from the student he was trying to impress. The student ignored him, and Raghu glared at him.
Raghu continued, “This is the place, where Yama finally relented. The lamp that you see in front of you, is supposed to have been lit by them as a thanksgiving gesture to Yama. In fact, we have not let the lamp to be extinguished – each month, one of houses in the village takes on the responsibility of making sure that the lamp stays lit. We have been doing these for the past fourty generations. By the way, this month is my family’s turn.”
They had stepped into the enclosure. The French couple were clicking photographs of the lamp. The student was following Raghu and takng down notes as he talked. The businessman was following the student. The young couple were near the flower bed – the guy plucking a flower and placing it on the girl’s hair, while she was smiling shyly.
“So, does your wife come here daily and put oil in the lamp?”, the French lady asked him.
Raghu replied, “Yeah…she did that till a couple of weeks ago, but then she had to go to her parent’s home. So, my daughter does it nowadays.”
“This was the last stop of our tour of Madhopur. Hope all of you enjoyed it!” Raghu announced.
“Yeah, it was interesting…”, came the reply.
“So, hopefully you will be able to show your appreciation in your tips for me…”. Raghu licked his lips in anticipation of the monetary rewards coming his way soon.
They started walking back towards the van which would carry the group back to the railway station.
“Hey, what’s that over there?”, the businessman asked. He was pointing towards the end of the jasmine flowerbeds. It seemed to be slightly unevenly dug up.
“Oh that’s nothing! Probably a new flower bed being made there by the panchayat. Let us go, folks, it is getting dark.” Raghu said.
They started walking towards the van, with Raghu leading the way.
Two weeks ago…Nov 28 2005, 11 PM IST
“You and your stupid conspiracy theories”, Pushpa was angry now. “I can’t believe that you followed me all the way from home till here to check on me. For the last time, I DO NOT HAVE ANY EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS…”
She was standing at the Samadhi, with a can of oil in her hands. She had been filling the lamp with oil when she had sensed someone behind her. Turning around, she had seen Raghu standing behind her.
Raghu’s suspicion of Pushpa’s alleged illicit affairs had been growing for sometime now. In the beginning, he used to scold her for talking to his friends. But soon, he started publicly humiliating her, and sometimes even hitting her in front of his friends. She had tolerated it quietly initially, but off late had been trying to defend herself.
“Shut up, you bitch!” Raghu slapped Pushpa hard. She slipped backwards, hitting the lamp, crashing on the floor. She lay motionless there.
Raghu looked around nervously. “Get up!” he kicked pushpa. No response. He knelt down beside her. She wasn’t breathing. He saw a pool of blood slowly spreading beneath her head. Her head had struck the lamp as she fell. She was dead!
Raghu scrambled around. “What do I do now?” He was thinking furiously. He saw the nearby jasmine creeper flowerbed. There was a shovel nearby. The resident gardener had forgotten it there. He picked it up and quickly started digging.
One hour later, Raghu was sweating profusely, inspite of the November cold. He dragged Pushpa’s body and dumped into the freshly dug-up ditch, and started filling it.
“People will think that this is part of the flowerbed…”, he thought to himself.
As he started leaving, he noticed that the lamp was lying on the ground and not burning anymore.
The lamp had been burning for more than fourty generations!
He replaced the lamp on the pedestal, and took out his matchbox to light the lamp...
Sunday, April 30, 2006
The first time!
Bolshoi heard her voice before he saw her.
“I work in the evening shift nowadays – leaving home at 7 PM and coming back in the morning by around 6:30 AM…”
Her voice was low, but not quite husky. As if her vocal chords had decided to gingerly tread the border towards huskiness and then decided to stay on that border. It gave her voice a unique and intoxicating effect. And that accent…! Although it did not sound unnatural, it certainly sounded intriguing enough to make you pause and think about each and every sound that came out of her mouth.
Bolshoi had by now stepped off the elevator and into the corridor. He could see that the door of her apartment was open. The other end of the room had a balcony which was welcoming the fading evening sunshine into the apartment. The room itself was full of furniture and potted plants. And then he saw her!
She was leaning on the table and talking. Her arms were crossed in front of her, but not in a defensive way.
“Quite the cool lady!” Bolshoi thought to himself, as he walked into the apartment.
She did not look up at him as he walked in. Ignoring him, she continued talking – each of her sentences ending with a mild laugh. He noticed her laughter – it had a ringing tone to it. It was as if the sound wanted to come rushing out, but was stopped at the last moment, being promised to be set free at the end of the next sentence.
Bolshoi was nervous. This was his first time! All his life (well, at least since he crossed puberty!) he had been waiting for this day! He had spent several hours fantasizing about this occasion and planning out the details of each and every second. He had already memorized a thousand times the lines that he would say, the small talk that he would make and what he would do in this situation! But nothing had prepared him for this! He was too scared to even look up at her face.
Settling down into the sofa, he permitted himself to steal a glance at her! “Wow! She is more beautiful than her photographs…” he thought to himself.
She had long wavy hair, a delicate face, bright and big innocent eyes. And her lips…They looked delicious! She had full lips, rose colored, but without any hint of lipstick. He couldn’t take his eyes off her lips. Finally, with great difficulty, he allowed himself to look at the rest of her. She was slim, but not reed thin. And somehow, he found her cool and casual posture quite attractive.
Suddenly, Bolshoi realized that she was now looking at him.
“Awww..shucks…she has caught me staring at her!” He mentally cursed himself. She had a faintly amused expression on her lips, as if she was indulging a school boy who had a major crush on her.
“Why don’t you guys go into the next room?” Someone in the room asked. Bolshoi dumbly nodded.
She led the way, Bolshoi following her. He was nervous and suddenly had a very strong urge to run out of the apartment shrieking at the top of his voice. “I cannot do this!” He thought to himself. However, he saw himself silently following her into the room.
“Have a seat”, she told him – and sat down without waiting for him. He looked around and sat on the bed.
“Err…hmmm…Hi!” Bolshoi looked at her and smiled. He was feeling very shy and could feel that his cheeks were flushed.
“Hi!”, She replied back.
“So…tell me something about yourself!” Bolshoi replied. “What a lame opening line!” He thought to himself, “I sound like one of the HR interviewers breaking the ice with potential employees.”
“Oh…let me see…I am a very talkative girl, enjoy movies, enjoy having fun. The rest I have already told you in my e-mail to you. You tell me something about yourself.”
Bolshoi could not take his eyes off her – she was too damned attractive. He felt his lips moving and sounds coming out of his throat, but his brain was too focussed on looking at her. He did not even realize how long it had been since they entered the room. A quick and loud knock on the door brought him out of his reverie.
“I think we should go. They seem to be waiting”, She suggested. Again there was a hint of playfulness in her voice..."Do you really want to go?" She seemed to be asking him.
“Yes, lets do that…”, Bolshoi reluctantly got up.
Both of them got back into the main room. As they entered, the small conversations suddenly came to a stop, bringing an unnatural silence into the room. He went and sat near his mother and whispered into her ear – “She seems to be nice.” He didn't want to sound too enthusiastic with his mom. There were murmurs of approval from all directions.
He looked around and realized that she had gone and given a similar report to her parents.
Bolshoi’s mother smiled and told him - “I knew that you will like her.” Turning towards the others in the room, she said, “If you think it is OK, they can probably meet alone another time and get to know each other better. And oh! We would prefer the marriage to be conducted in the summer vacation time, as we have lots of relatives coming in from Kerala…”
Bolshoi could not stop thinking about her lips, her laughter and her voice - even as they got into the car and started driving towards back home!
“I work in the evening shift nowadays – leaving home at 7 PM and coming back in the morning by around 6:30 AM…”
Her voice was low, but not quite husky. As if her vocal chords had decided to gingerly tread the border towards huskiness and then decided to stay on that border. It gave her voice a unique and intoxicating effect. And that accent…! Although it did not sound unnatural, it certainly sounded intriguing enough to make you pause and think about each and every sound that came out of her mouth.
Bolshoi had by now stepped off the elevator and into the corridor. He could see that the door of her apartment was open. The other end of the room had a balcony which was welcoming the fading evening sunshine into the apartment. The room itself was full of furniture and potted plants. And then he saw her!
She was leaning on the table and talking. Her arms were crossed in front of her, but not in a defensive way.
“Quite the cool lady!” Bolshoi thought to himself, as he walked into the apartment.
She did not look up at him as he walked in. Ignoring him, she continued talking – each of her sentences ending with a mild laugh. He noticed her laughter – it had a ringing tone to it. It was as if the sound wanted to come rushing out, but was stopped at the last moment, being promised to be set free at the end of the next sentence.
Bolshoi was nervous. This was his first time! All his life (well, at least since he crossed puberty!) he had been waiting for this day! He had spent several hours fantasizing about this occasion and planning out the details of each and every second. He had already memorized a thousand times the lines that he would say, the small talk that he would make and what he would do in this situation! But nothing had prepared him for this! He was too scared to even look up at her face.
Settling down into the sofa, he permitted himself to steal a glance at her! “Wow! She is more beautiful than her photographs…” he thought to himself.
She had long wavy hair, a delicate face, bright and big innocent eyes. And her lips…They looked delicious! She had full lips, rose colored, but without any hint of lipstick. He couldn’t take his eyes off her lips. Finally, with great difficulty, he allowed himself to look at the rest of her. She was slim, but not reed thin. And somehow, he found her cool and casual posture quite attractive.
Suddenly, Bolshoi realized that she was now looking at him.
“Awww..shucks…she has caught me staring at her!” He mentally cursed himself. She had a faintly amused expression on her lips, as if she was indulging a school boy who had a major crush on her.
“Why don’t you guys go into the next room?” Someone in the room asked. Bolshoi dumbly nodded.
She led the way, Bolshoi following her. He was nervous and suddenly had a very strong urge to run out of the apartment shrieking at the top of his voice. “I cannot do this!” He thought to himself. However, he saw himself silently following her into the room.
“Have a seat”, she told him – and sat down without waiting for him. He looked around and sat on the bed.
“Err…hmmm…Hi!” Bolshoi looked at her and smiled. He was feeling very shy and could feel that his cheeks were flushed.
“Hi!”, She replied back.
“So…tell me something about yourself!” Bolshoi replied. “What a lame opening line!” He thought to himself, “I sound like one of the HR interviewers breaking the ice with potential employees.”
“Oh…let me see…I am a very talkative girl, enjoy movies, enjoy having fun. The rest I have already told you in my e-mail to you. You tell me something about yourself.”
Bolshoi could not take his eyes off her – she was too damned attractive. He felt his lips moving and sounds coming out of his throat, but his brain was too focussed on looking at her. He did not even realize how long it had been since they entered the room. A quick and loud knock on the door brought him out of his reverie.
“I think we should go. They seem to be waiting”, She suggested. Again there was a hint of playfulness in her voice..."Do you really want to go?" She seemed to be asking him.
“Yes, lets do that…”, Bolshoi reluctantly got up.
Both of them got back into the main room. As they entered, the small conversations suddenly came to a stop, bringing an unnatural silence into the room. He went and sat near his mother and whispered into her ear – “She seems to be nice.” He didn't want to sound too enthusiastic with his mom. There were murmurs of approval from all directions.
He looked around and realized that she had gone and given a similar report to her parents.
Bolshoi’s mother smiled and told him - “I knew that you will like her.” Turning towards the others in the room, she said, “If you think it is OK, they can probably meet alone another time and get to know each other better. And oh! We would prefer the marriage to be conducted in the summer vacation time, as we have lots of relatives coming in from Kerala…”
Bolshoi could not stop thinking about her lips, her laughter and her voice - even as they got into the car and started driving towards back home!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Memories...
Several posts in the blog-oh-sphere are dedicated to nostalgic times and fond remembrances of childhood favorites in comics and television. I thought I will add my bit to these. I have already pained my wife enough on this topic, bombarding her with my memories of the above! So, it is now your turn!
Comics
Phantom
Phantom was my favorite in the Indrajal comic series also featuring Mandrake, Flash Gordon, Bahadur etc. In fact, I used to find Phantom the most fascinating – mainly because he had no special powers. (It is for the same reason, that I like Batman more than any other superhero!).
Phantom used to live in a jungle cave shaped like a skull, he used to have a wireless transmitter at home which was used for global communications (precursor to the Internet?), used to always wear a costume, and used to fight and shoot much faster than an ordinary person.
Oh yeah, the series had several interesting places like the garden of Eden (complete with a stegosaurus and a cave man), the beaches of Keelawi with gold dust as sand, some mysterious entrance into a cave – at the other end of which there are these little people who sit on hawks and fly around etc.
All the stories would end with Phantom saving the day, dressed as himself or as a trenchcoat wearing guy-with-a-dog – Mr Walker! I would read and re-read these comics, hoping that the pages would not come to an end.
What struck me then and still never ceases to amaze me – is the extent of detail that went into each story. It was very difficult to find contradictions in the overall storyline and plots, especially regarding origins of the phantom and the history of his ancestors.
Another interesting observation was that his face was never shown directly in any of the stories – it would always be a back view or a silhouette! (Old Jungle Saying – He who looks upon the Phantom’s face unmasked will die horribly!)
Tinkle
I loved the earlier versions – with several short comic stories and where readers could also contribute their own. I remember sending a few stories, but none of them got published.
I especially used to like Suppandi, Hodja, Tantri the Mantri (inspired by the Iznogoud series, no doubt!), Kaalia the crow and so on. In fact, one of favorite characters was Doob doob, the dimwitted crocodile who was Chamataka’s sidekick. I always used to feel sorry for him, and I think, in a few stories, Kaalia also had displayed a soft corner for him and used to do him some favors (of course, without telling anyone about it!).
Chandamama
I was first introduced to Chandamama, when we had gone to Kerala as part of our annual summer trips. I was probably seven or eight years old then! My father had purchased Chandamama for me from one of the shops near my grandparent's house in Kerala. None of the other series including Tinkle, ACK, Indrajal were available there!. I was pretty disappointed. However, that evening, I went to my father and asked him to pick out a story which he thought was good. He selected a story, and then I sat in a corner and read it. Once it was done, I repeated the process. Before I knew it, I had finished reading the entire book and wanted more! – and that is how I was hooked onto Chandamama. I used to repeat this ritual of asking my father for story selection with every new issue. Soon, I started reading the series end-to-end without bothering my father! (My father later told me that he used to pick random stories and tell me that they were good, just so that I would read them.)
Amar Chitra Katha
They were my introduction to history, mythology and folktales of India. It gave me a concise version of Mahabharata, Bhagavatham, Indian freedom struggle, the bible, the mughal rule, Shivaji etc etc. Of course, as I grew up, I started realizing that “history is the view-point of the victors…” and that there are two sides (or even more) to everything! But that still did not take away my love for Amar Chitra katha. At least they made it infinitely more interesting than the dull history text books that we had to go through in School.
Superman / Batman / Tintin / Asterix
These were among the few comics, for which I had to rely on my network of friends. This was mainly because, these comics did not have an Indian edition, and so I could not afford it with my pocket money! So, me any my friends used to trade tattered versions of the comics. We used to have a specific exchange rate too (2 Indrajal Comics for 1 superman comic, 5 Amar Chitra Kathas for Asterix / Tintin – not from a content perspective, but mainly from the cost perspective!). Most of these deals would be negotiated ferociously, probably putting even a modern day trader to shame!
I used to be amazed at the graphic details shown in the above comics, especially Tintin. My favorite activity after having finished reading a Tintin book, was to scrutinize each of the panel – especially reading the other headlines and details in any panel showing a news clipping detailing Tintin’s exploits!
Target
This was again a monthly magazine similar to Chandamama, but aimed at teens. I loved the Funny world section by Ajit Ninan (ingenious and hilarious), and the Detective Moochwala series. I remember reading a series about a group of teen detectives, one of whom was named “Bose D K” – hehehe – I wonder how the censors let that pass by!
Diamond Comics
Somehow, I never really liked the diamond comic series – with characters like Chacha Chaudhury, Billoo, Fauladi Singh etc. My main grouse with them was the unnecessary use of big words in their stories. Also, the storylines used to very simplistic. But, inspite of all this, I never passed on an opportunity to read these comics!
Coming Soon – Television memories!
Comics
Phantom
Phantom was my favorite in the Indrajal comic series also featuring Mandrake, Flash Gordon, Bahadur etc. In fact, I used to find Phantom the most fascinating – mainly because he had no special powers. (It is for the same reason, that I like Batman more than any other superhero!).
Phantom used to live in a jungle cave shaped like a skull, he used to have a wireless transmitter at home which was used for global communications (precursor to the Internet?), used to always wear a costume, and used to fight and shoot much faster than an ordinary person.
Oh yeah, the series had several interesting places like the garden of Eden (complete with a stegosaurus and a cave man), the beaches of Keelawi with gold dust as sand, some mysterious entrance into a cave – at the other end of which there are these little people who sit on hawks and fly around etc.
All the stories would end with Phantom saving the day, dressed as himself or as a trenchcoat wearing guy-with-a-dog – Mr Walker! I would read and re-read these comics, hoping that the pages would not come to an end.
What struck me then and still never ceases to amaze me – is the extent of detail that went into each story. It was very difficult to find contradictions in the overall storyline and plots, especially regarding origins of the phantom and the history of his ancestors.
Another interesting observation was that his face was never shown directly in any of the stories – it would always be a back view or a silhouette! (Old Jungle Saying – He who looks upon the Phantom’s face unmasked will die horribly!)
Tinkle
I loved the earlier versions – with several short comic stories and where readers could also contribute their own. I remember sending a few stories, but none of them got published.
I especially used to like Suppandi, Hodja, Tantri the Mantri (inspired by the Iznogoud series, no doubt!), Kaalia the crow and so on. In fact, one of favorite characters was Doob doob, the dimwitted crocodile who was Chamataka’s sidekick. I always used to feel sorry for him, and I think, in a few stories, Kaalia also had displayed a soft corner for him and used to do him some favors (of course, without telling anyone about it!).
Chandamama
I was first introduced to Chandamama, when we had gone to Kerala as part of our annual summer trips. I was probably seven or eight years old then! My father had purchased Chandamama for me from one of the shops near my grandparent's house in Kerala. None of the other series including Tinkle, ACK, Indrajal were available there!. I was pretty disappointed. However, that evening, I went to my father and asked him to pick out a story which he thought was good. He selected a story, and then I sat in a corner and read it. Once it was done, I repeated the process. Before I knew it, I had finished reading the entire book and wanted more! – and that is how I was hooked onto Chandamama. I used to repeat this ritual of asking my father for story selection with every new issue. Soon, I started reading the series end-to-end without bothering my father! (My father later told me that he used to pick random stories and tell me that they were good, just so that I would read them.)
Amar Chitra Katha
They were my introduction to history, mythology and folktales of India. It gave me a concise version of Mahabharata, Bhagavatham, Indian freedom struggle, the bible, the mughal rule, Shivaji etc etc. Of course, as I grew up, I started realizing that “history is the view-point of the victors…” and that there are two sides (or even more) to everything! But that still did not take away my love for Amar Chitra katha. At least they made it infinitely more interesting than the dull history text books that we had to go through in School.
Superman / Batman / Tintin / Asterix
These were among the few comics, for which I had to rely on my network of friends. This was mainly because, these comics did not have an Indian edition, and so I could not afford it with my pocket money! So, me any my friends used to trade tattered versions of the comics. We used to have a specific exchange rate too (2 Indrajal Comics for 1 superman comic, 5 Amar Chitra Kathas for Asterix / Tintin – not from a content perspective, but mainly from the cost perspective!). Most of these deals would be negotiated ferociously, probably putting even a modern day trader to shame!
I used to be amazed at the graphic details shown in the above comics, especially Tintin. My favorite activity after having finished reading a Tintin book, was to scrutinize each of the panel – especially reading the other headlines and details in any panel showing a news clipping detailing Tintin’s exploits!
Target
This was again a monthly magazine similar to Chandamama, but aimed at teens. I loved the Funny world section by Ajit Ninan (ingenious and hilarious), and the Detective Moochwala series. I remember reading a series about a group of teen detectives, one of whom was named “Bose D K” – hehehe – I wonder how the censors let that pass by!
Diamond Comics
Somehow, I never really liked the diamond comic series – with characters like Chacha Chaudhury, Billoo, Fauladi Singh etc. My main grouse with them was the unnecessary use of big words in their stories. Also, the storylines used to very simplistic. But, inspite of all this, I never passed on an opportunity to read these comics!
Coming Soon – Television memories!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
It's a donkey's life...Part 2
They were now walking on the relatively deserted part of the way to home. There were few other animals or vehicles on the road.
"So dude! Tell me your problems. I may not be able to solve them, but definitely it will help you put your thoughts in perspective", Jamkatki said.
"Well, I am not so sure about the exact reason for my depression. All my life, I was raised with the ideal that if I study well and work hard, then I will do extremely well! ...and this is exactly what I did too. I joined the Indian Institute of Dhobi Apprentices (IIDA) and you do know that they are among the finest technical schools in the country, and arguably in the world. I even did a diploma in Trends in the laundry business after my IIDA degree. I joined one of the best paying washermen in the ghats a couple of years ago. To be honest, he does treat me well and I have no complaints against him." Dhondu paused at this point.
Jamkatki had been unusually silent during the entire discourse. "Go on...Dont hesitate..pour it out!" He prodded Dhondu on.
"OK...so last week, I bumped into an old classmate from my school. Now, his principles have always been different from mine. If mine was to ensure that I went to the best college and worked the hardest to remain at the top, his goal was to take life as it comes, enjoy and have fun. I always expected him to have a mediocre career and a so-so quality of life. In fact, I had all but forgotten about him, till I met him again last week." Dhondu went on.
"Hmmm...continue please", Jamkatki responded.
"Well..errr..the thing is..you see...this guy has done remarkably well and in fact, My master is in fact a new franchisee of the General Dhobi Works - the company owned by him. So, in a convoluted way... I work for him"
"Hehehe...and you are upset about it?" asked Jamkatki.
"Hey no! Don't get me wrong! I am sure he deserved his success very much." Dhondu was now on the defensive. "I was just thinking - that we have... on one hand, a guy who has slogged his way to get admitted into IIDA, worked hard throughout the 2 years in that school going through numerous exams and nerve-wracking training sessions, took the initiative to take up a diploma in Advanced laundry, and joined one of the most reputable washermen in the city."
He continued, "On the other hand, we have this chap here, who dropped out of school, went on a backpacking trip across the towns, flirted with all the female donkeys he met, and has not ever touched a washload with a barge pole in his life"
"...and now, after all this, the irony is that, I, among the top 0.5% of donkeys in this town, in terms of educational qualifications, am now working for HIM!" Dhondu's voice had reached a high pitch by now and he had stopped walking. "So, now I am wondering... Was whatever I was told from childhood that education will result in success wrong? Why did I waste the best part of my childhood, slogging though IIDA? What does HE have that I don't have, that makes him so successful, while I am a pathetic donkey working for some washerman?"
Dhondu was clearly getting frustrated by now. He had stopped walking and had moved onto the side of the road. Jamkatki could feel the nervous shiver running through Dhondu's body.
"Cool it, buddy!" Jamkatki sympathized. "Don't worry! I understand your frustrations. And if you please, I can offer some suggestions too"
"Hmmpppffff...What advice can a crow offer me? You don't know anything about me!" Dhondu replied in a scornful tone.
"...and therein lies your problem, mate! You are way too conceited, ignorant and stupidly arrogant!" Jamkatki was now on the offensive. "You believe that only donkeys from IIDA are entitled to intelligence and every other creature are lower forms of existence than you. Tell me something, why is IIDA so famous?"
"Oh! You don't know? The entrance exams are among the most difficult in the world. Also, the IIDA alumni are among the leaders in various industries across the world. Now, do you realize how great I am?" Dhondu replied with a gleam in his eyes.
"Man! You ARE stupid, aren't you?" Jamkatki replied. "How does having the most difficult entrance exam and the fact that you cracked it, make you the most intelligent fellow on earth? It only means that you managed to answer all the questions in THAT particular test correctly. However, that is besides the point. I am prepared to give you credit for the fact that you must be a person with a reasonable aptitude for whatever-it-is-that-is-asked-in-these-tests, because of which you did well in the entrance test. However, that does not automatically qualify you as INTELLIGENT, or at least more intelligent than other people. Also, just how does the fact that the IIDA alumni are doing well, make YOU great?"
Dhondu was struck dumb by this sudden display of aggression.
Jamkatki continued, "You know what your problem is? Excessive self-pity! Everything needs to be given to you on a platter. And why? Just because you graduated from the prestigious IIDA! Heck, you should learn to pick out opportunities and act on them. You should also learn to NEVER underestimate ANYONE. My guess is that your friend and those successful IIDA alumni all had a great deal of these qualities."
"Learn to take risks. You know how the old saying goes no pain, no gain! Your friend took the risk of doing what he loved most. Also, he looked around for possible opportunities and ACTED upon them! But you have been too caught up in your own smug world of self-satisfaction. You don't look around, you don't consider anyone as good as you. Dude, the moment you get satisfied with what you have, you STOP growing!"
Dhondu was looking at Jamkatki, as if he had been given a stinging slap across his face. He was speechless.
There was silence for a few seconds.
Jamkatki said, "Buddy, I might have been a bit harsh on you, but I found your self-pitying very tiresome. It is time you stopped thinking about yourself and your "greatness" and start looking around and being aware of your environment. But this is the only way to survive and progress!"
Silence again. Dhondu cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed to speak up now after the harangue from Jamkatki. "Err...hmm...you may probably have a point!"
"I do have a point, dammit! And that is this! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, start looking around for an opportunity and then take the plunge and go do it!!!! and while you are at it, have respect for eveyone and treat people the way you want them to treat you..."
"...and now, if you will excuse me... I have to leave now." With a swish, Jamkatki took off from Dhondu's back and landed on the overhead branch of a nearby tree. "I am going to keep an eye on you! I do hope to see some improvement in you! I am confident you can! After all - you are an IIDA alumni, aren't you?" Jamkatki winked at him.
Dhondu didn't know whether Jamkatki was being sarcastic or serious. But he didn't care. He had got the message. "Hmmm...He does have a point! Let me see... I think I should develop on that idea of buying a set of washing machines and using it to wash a bigger load...or rather I should consider getting into the dyeing business..."
His walk was much more hurried and his mood was clearly more effervescent as he walked back the rest of the way home!
"Another day, another good deed for Jamkatki the consultant!", Jamkatki said softly from the tree branch.
"So dude! Tell me your problems. I may not be able to solve them, but definitely it will help you put your thoughts in perspective", Jamkatki said.
"Well, I am not so sure about the exact reason for my depression. All my life, I was raised with the ideal that if I study well and work hard, then I will do extremely well! ...and this is exactly what I did too. I joined the Indian Institute of Dhobi Apprentices (IIDA) and you do know that they are among the finest technical schools in the country, and arguably in the world. I even did a diploma in Trends in the laundry business after my IIDA degree. I joined one of the best paying washermen in the ghats a couple of years ago. To be honest, he does treat me well and I have no complaints against him." Dhondu paused at this point.
Jamkatki had been unusually silent during the entire discourse. "Go on...Dont hesitate..pour it out!" He prodded Dhondu on.
"OK...so last week, I bumped into an old classmate from my school. Now, his principles have always been different from mine. If mine was to ensure that I went to the best college and worked the hardest to remain at the top, his goal was to take life as it comes, enjoy and have fun. I always expected him to have a mediocre career and a so-so quality of life. In fact, I had all but forgotten about him, till I met him again last week." Dhondu went on.
"Hmmm...continue please", Jamkatki responded.
"Well..errr..the thing is..you see...this guy has done remarkably well and in fact, My master is in fact a new franchisee of the General Dhobi Works - the company owned by him. So, in a convoluted way... I work for him"
"Hehehe...and you are upset about it?" asked Jamkatki.
"Hey no! Don't get me wrong! I am sure he deserved his success very much." Dhondu was now on the defensive. "I was just thinking - that we have... on one hand, a guy who has slogged his way to get admitted into IIDA, worked hard throughout the 2 years in that school going through numerous exams and nerve-wracking training sessions, took the initiative to take up a diploma in Advanced laundry, and joined one of the most reputable washermen in the city."
He continued, "On the other hand, we have this chap here, who dropped out of school, went on a backpacking trip across the towns, flirted with all the female donkeys he met, and has not ever touched a washload with a barge pole in his life"
"...and now, after all this, the irony is that, I, among the top 0.5% of donkeys in this town, in terms of educational qualifications, am now working for HIM!" Dhondu's voice had reached a high pitch by now and he had stopped walking. "So, now I am wondering... Was whatever I was told from childhood that education will result in success wrong? Why did I waste the best part of my childhood, slogging though IIDA? What does HE have that I don't have, that makes him so successful, while I am a pathetic donkey working for some washerman?"
Dhondu was clearly getting frustrated by now. He had stopped walking and had moved onto the side of the road. Jamkatki could feel the nervous shiver running through Dhondu's body.
"Cool it, buddy!" Jamkatki sympathized. "Don't worry! I understand your frustrations. And if you please, I can offer some suggestions too"
"Hmmpppffff...What advice can a crow offer me? You don't know anything about me!" Dhondu replied in a scornful tone.
"...and therein lies your problem, mate! You are way too conceited, ignorant and stupidly arrogant!" Jamkatki was now on the offensive. "You believe that only donkeys from IIDA are entitled to intelligence and every other creature are lower forms of existence than you. Tell me something, why is IIDA so famous?"
"Oh! You don't know? The entrance exams are among the most difficult in the world. Also, the IIDA alumni are among the leaders in various industries across the world. Now, do you realize how great I am?" Dhondu replied with a gleam in his eyes.
"Man! You ARE stupid, aren't you?" Jamkatki replied. "How does having the most difficult entrance exam and the fact that you cracked it, make you the most intelligent fellow on earth? It only means that you managed to answer all the questions in THAT particular test correctly. However, that is besides the point. I am prepared to give you credit for the fact that you must be a person with a reasonable aptitude for whatever-it-is-that-is-asked-in-these-tests, because of which you did well in the entrance test. However, that does not automatically qualify you as INTELLIGENT, or at least more intelligent than other people. Also, just how does the fact that the IIDA alumni are doing well, make YOU great?"
Dhondu was struck dumb by this sudden display of aggression.
Jamkatki continued, "You know what your problem is? Excessive self-pity! Everything needs to be given to you on a platter. And why? Just because you graduated from the prestigious IIDA! Heck, you should learn to pick out opportunities and act on them. You should also learn to NEVER underestimate ANYONE. My guess is that your friend and those successful IIDA alumni all had a great deal of these qualities."
"Learn to take risks. You know how the old saying goes no pain, no gain! Your friend took the risk of doing what he loved most. Also, he looked around for possible opportunities and ACTED upon them! But you have been too caught up in your own smug world of self-satisfaction. You don't look around, you don't consider anyone as good as you. Dude, the moment you get satisfied with what you have, you STOP growing!"
Dhondu was looking at Jamkatki, as if he had been given a stinging slap across his face. He was speechless.
There was silence for a few seconds.
Jamkatki said, "Buddy, I might have been a bit harsh on you, but I found your self-pitying very tiresome. It is time you stopped thinking about yourself and your "greatness" and start looking around and being aware of your environment. But this is the only way to survive and progress!"
Silence again. Dhondu cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed to speak up now after the harangue from Jamkatki. "Err...hmm...you may probably have a point!"
"I do have a point, dammit! And that is this! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, start looking around for an opportunity and then take the plunge and go do it!!!! and while you are at it, have respect for eveyone and treat people the way you want them to treat you..."
"...and now, if you will excuse me... I have to leave now." With a swish, Jamkatki took off from Dhondu's back and landed on the overhead branch of a nearby tree. "I am going to keep an eye on you! I do hope to see some improvement in you! I am confident you can! After all - you are an IIDA alumni, aren't you?" Jamkatki winked at him.
Dhondu didn't know whether Jamkatki was being sarcastic or serious. But he didn't care. He had got the message. "Hmmm...He does have a point! Let me see... I think I should develop on that idea of buying a set of washing machines and using it to wash a bigger load...or rather I should consider getting into the dyeing business..."
His walk was much more hurried and his mood was clearly more effervescent as he walked back the rest of the way home!
"Another day, another good deed for Jamkatki the consultant!", Jamkatki said softly from the tree branch.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Four Word Movie Reviews
I came upon this interesting site for Four-word movie reviews while going through Sidin's blog. My attempts for some of the recent Hindi movies follow:
Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya: Maine MPKK kyun dekha
Salaam Namaste: No sex before marriage
Ek Khiladi Ek Haseena: Bad copy of ‘Confidence’
Bunty Aur Babli: Two cons, one cop
Sarkar: The Corleones in Mumbai
Shikhar: Don’t watch this movie!
Zinda: sanjay kills bad people
Dosti: Two friends, one dies!
Fight Club: Terrible actors come together
Range De Basanti: “Patriotic” youth kill minister
Waqt - Race Against Time: A waste of time!
Mangal Pandey: zzzz zzzz zzzz zzzz
Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya: Maine MPKK kyun dekha
Salaam Namaste: No sex before marriage
Ek Khiladi Ek Haseena: Bad copy of ‘Confidence’
Bunty Aur Babli: Two cons, one cop
Sarkar: The Corleones in Mumbai
Shikhar: Don’t watch this movie!
Zinda: sanjay kills bad people
Dosti: Two friends, one dies!
Fight Club: Terrible actors come together
Range De Basanti: “Patriotic” youth kill minister
Waqt - Race Against Time: A waste of time!
Mangal Pandey: zzzz zzzz zzzz zzzz
Monday, April 03, 2006
It's a donkey's life!...Part 1
(This is the first of a series titled "Adventures of Jamkatki the Crow")
Dhondu the donkey sighed softly.
It was not as much a sigh as it was a cry of exasperation! It had been three years since he had started working at the laundryman’s home. The hours were good, the washload (= workload) was not too bad. His master had started trusting him and would allow him to get the bundle of clothes from the laundromat to home everyday all by himself…and very rarely did the master use the stick on him. He was the envy of all other middle class donkeys, who like him had come out of the training school and had joined as an apprentice to a washerman. His pay was good, he was always given the best silk and rayon clothing to handle and was the favorite pet of the washerman. In addition, he had very recently got a pay raise – an extra carrot every fortnight!
But there was still something missing…and he just couldn’t put his finger on that! He sighed again…
“It must be love!”, a voice nearby said. Dhondu let out a startled yelp, as only a startled donkey can.
“What?” asked Dhondu – looking around for the source of the voice.
“I said it must be love”, the voice repeated.
Dhondu looked upwards to the sky to where the sound came from. There, perched on the new mobile connection tower (oh yes! Development was extending her loving embrace to include Dhondu’s town too), was a crow looking down at him.
“Pardon me! But is that you who just spoke to me?” Dhondu asked the crow expectantly. His training school etiquette had prepared him to be polite enough in such situations, even if it was only a crow.
“Yep, that’s me!” replied the crow.
“I am sorry, I couldn’t quite understand what you were trying to tell me”, said Dhondu.
“Oh you T-School sorts! You need all conversations to have a situation-complexity-approach structure, don’t you?” the crow asked condescendingly. “I noticed you muttering to yourself and guessed that you must be going through mid-life crisis. I have seen that look in too many young people nowadays. It is always the feeling that there is something that is missing in their lives”
“Wait a minute, how do you seem to know so much about my sorts?...” sneered Dhondu, clearly offended by the impertinent classification by the crow, and that too by an uneducated one! (at least he looked like one). “…and what gives you the right to guess what crisis I am going through and most of all who gave you the right to give me advice!” Dhondu was clearly getting into the aggressive mode. He had been in too many group discussions in the T-School to know that he needs to make his points heard in the first 3 minutes of a group conversation for it to be heard.
“Whoa buddy! Wait up…take it easy…listen to what I have got to say” the crow did a backflip a-la Keanu Reeves in Matrix and landed on his two legs right near Dhondu. “The name is Jamkatki”, he said extending a raven colored wing towards Dhondu.
There was a pause for a couple of seconds, before Dhondu acknowledged the wing and replied, “Dhondu here, I guess I must say… nice meeting you.”
“The pleasure is all mine. By the way, mind if I hitch a ride on your back? We can talk as you walk – will be a much more productive use of our time”, Jamkatki said. Dhondu was impressed – OK! This guy is not so dumb after all. He is familiar with the concepts of time and motion studies and parallel processing. Nodding his head, Dhondu gave the clear signal to Jamkatki to jump on to his back.
“OK..now you have a free ride home. Do you mind telling me what you were talking about while up there in the tree?” Dhondu was getting impatient now.
“Relax buddy! I have been observing you for the past 2 – 3 months now. You seem to have a good job, minimum cares, yet you don’t seem to be happy.” Jamkatki replied.
To be Continued...
Dhondu the donkey sighed softly.
It was not as much a sigh as it was a cry of exasperation! It had been three years since he had started working at the laundryman’s home. The hours were good, the washload (= workload) was not too bad. His master had started trusting him and would allow him to get the bundle of clothes from the laundromat to home everyday all by himself…and very rarely did the master use the stick on him. He was the envy of all other middle class donkeys, who like him had come out of the training school and had joined as an apprentice to a washerman. His pay was good, he was always given the best silk and rayon clothing to handle and was the favorite pet of the washerman. In addition, he had very recently got a pay raise – an extra carrot every fortnight!
But there was still something missing…and he just couldn’t put his finger on that! He sighed again…
“It must be love!”, a voice nearby said. Dhondu let out a startled yelp, as only a startled donkey can.
“What?” asked Dhondu – looking around for the source of the voice.
“I said it must be love”, the voice repeated.
Dhondu looked upwards to the sky to where the sound came from. There, perched on the new mobile connection tower (oh yes! Development was extending her loving embrace to include Dhondu’s town too), was a crow looking down at him.
“Pardon me! But is that you who just spoke to me?” Dhondu asked the crow expectantly. His training school etiquette had prepared him to be polite enough in such situations, even if it was only a crow.
“Yep, that’s me!” replied the crow.
“I am sorry, I couldn’t quite understand what you were trying to tell me”, said Dhondu.
“Oh you T-School sorts! You need all conversations to have a situation-complexity-approach structure, don’t you?” the crow asked condescendingly. “I noticed you muttering to yourself and guessed that you must be going through mid-life crisis. I have seen that look in too many young people nowadays. It is always the feeling that there is something that is missing in their lives”
“Wait a minute, how do you seem to know so much about my sorts?...” sneered Dhondu, clearly offended by the impertinent classification by the crow, and that too by an uneducated one! (at least he looked like one). “…and what gives you the right to guess what crisis I am going through and most of all who gave you the right to give me advice!” Dhondu was clearly getting into the aggressive mode. He had been in too many group discussions in the T-School to know that he needs to make his points heard in the first 3 minutes of a group conversation for it to be heard.
“Whoa buddy! Wait up…take it easy…listen to what I have got to say” the crow did a backflip a-la Keanu Reeves in Matrix and landed on his two legs right near Dhondu. “The name is Jamkatki”, he said extending a raven colored wing towards Dhondu.
There was a pause for a couple of seconds, before Dhondu acknowledged the wing and replied, “Dhondu here, I guess I must say… nice meeting you.”
“The pleasure is all mine. By the way, mind if I hitch a ride on your back? We can talk as you walk – will be a much more productive use of our time”, Jamkatki said. Dhondu was impressed – OK! This guy is not so dumb after all. He is familiar with the concepts of time and motion studies and parallel processing. Nodding his head, Dhondu gave the clear signal to Jamkatki to jump on to his back.
“OK..now you have a free ride home. Do you mind telling me what you were talking about while up there in the tree?” Dhondu was getting impatient now.
“Relax buddy! I have been observing you for the past 2 – 3 months now. You seem to have a good job, minimum cares, yet you don’t seem to be happy.” Jamkatki replied.
To be Continued...
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Justice delayed is justice denied!
The recent verdict acquitting the suspects in the Jessica Lal case again highlights the many ills facing our legal system. The "eyewitnesses" turned hostile in the court and the "honorable" judge threw the case out without looking at the circumstantial evidence. What was more appalling was the fact that the verdict was reached in a matter of days, when we all know how long a typical case takes to reach a verdict at our esteemed courts! What more proof that India - the world's largest and a vigorous democracy - is thundering ahead as the fastest growing economy!!!!
In fact, this case has received so much attention because of the people involved in it. The victim, the suspects and the witnesses all belong to the very-well-to-do segment of the society. Imagine what would have happened, if the bartender had been someone from a different section of the society. Probably the verdict would have been the same, but would it have created the same level of uproar among us? We probably would not have even heard about the case.
All this made me think - do we still remember any of the high profile cases and their verdicts - where the victims were not so fortunate to have good connections? I did a quick google search to find out the status of some of the cases that I remembered reading in the newspapers many years back. Here are some of them and their current status:
Ramesh Kini Case: Kini's landlord, Laxmikant Shah, was trying to get Kini out of the flat. He (Shah) happened to be a close friend of Raj Thackeray. One evening, Ramesh Kini was found dead in a cinema theatre in Pune. His wife told the police that her husband was regularly threatened by Shah, Raj Thackeray and another Sena man called Ashutosh Rane. She said Ramesh had left home saying he was going to the Shiv Sena office. The next thing she knew was that he was found dead in Pune. Raj was questioned by the CID while Shah and Rane were arrested. Soon, Saamna growled a warning from Shiv Sena to the government and the CM addressed the assembly saying that Raj was innocent. Now this was in 1990. The status of the case - Verdict by an additional sessions court in 2002 - Shah and his son were acquitted for want of evidence. I am not aware of any action after this.
Syed Modi Case: Syed Modi, a national level badminton player was shot dead in 1988. Sanjay Singh, a UP Minister, was accused of being involved in it due to an affair with Modi's wife. As of 1990, Sanjay and the wife were acquitted, and in 2004, the remaining were acquitted for want of evidence. I am not aware of any action taken after that.
Priyadarshini Mattoo case: In 1996, Mattoo was found strangled to death in the bedroom of her South Delhi apartment with 19 injuries on her person. Santosh Kumar Singh, son of J.P. Singh, currently Inspector-General of Police, Pondicherry, harassed Mattoo in January and February 1995 and again in August, November and December that year by stalking her, telephoning her at her residence and at a hospital where her mother had been admitted, and stopping her car and shouting at her. Mattoo lodged police complaints against him, following which he apologised to her. She was provided with a personal security officer by the police on the orders of the Deputy Commissioner of Police, but Santosh Singh continued to harass her...and then she turned up dead! In 1999, the judge acquitted Santosh Singh, pointing to lack of evidence and inadequacies in the investigation. No news after that! Last heard, petitions were being signed to reopen the case!
Also, there are the more recent cases of Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath.
...and the list goes on. Now I have been only talking about the relatively well publicized cases. I am sure there are many cases which have not collectively merited even a column in any newspaper. Also, everyone knows about the direction that the Bofors investigation and the Tehelka case took, not to mention the Bhopal gas tragedy, the Narmada Bachao Andolan and so on.
The typical responses to these verdicts have been the same - our justice system sucks, our police are not equipped to conduct a scientific investigation, our cops are not paid enough, blah blah...and that is the end of the discussion. However, Shouldn't we be more proactive and work with people who are ensuring that justice is served to the affected parties? Shouldn't we demand for a reform of the judiciary and the penal code to ensure that the courts do not take 14 to 15 years to "realize" that the investigation was not carried out properly? I have not seen any petitions or movements to get this done. Please, if you know of any such agencies / organizations, let me know. I would like to participate in this noble cause.
In fact, this case has received so much attention because of the people involved in it. The victim, the suspects and the witnesses all belong to the very-well-to-do segment of the society. Imagine what would have happened, if the bartender had been someone from a different section of the society. Probably the verdict would have been the same, but would it have created the same level of uproar among us? We probably would not have even heard about the case.
All this made me think - do we still remember any of the high profile cases and their verdicts - where the victims were not so fortunate to have good connections? I did a quick google search to find out the status of some of the cases that I remembered reading in the newspapers many years back. Here are some of them and their current status:
Ramesh Kini Case: Kini's landlord, Laxmikant Shah, was trying to get Kini out of the flat. He (Shah) happened to be a close friend of Raj Thackeray. One evening, Ramesh Kini was found dead in a cinema theatre in Pune. His wife told the police that her husband was regularly threatened by Shah, Raj Thackeray and another Sena man called Ashutosh Rane. She said Ramesh had left home saying he was going to the Shiv Sena office. The next thing she knew was that he was found dead in Pune. Raj was questioned by the CID while Shah and Rane were arrested. Soon, Saamna growled a warning from Shiv Sena to the government and the CM addressed the assembly saying that Raj was innocent. Now this was in 1990. The status of the case - Verdict by an additional sessions court in 2002 - Shah and his son were acquitted for want of evidence. I am not aware of any action after this.
Syed Modi Case: Syed Modi, a national level badminton player was shot dead in 1988. Sanjay Singh, a UP Minister, was accused of being involved in it due to an affair with Modi's wife. As of 1990, Sanjay and the wife were acquitted, and in 2004, the remaining were acquitted for want of evidence. I am not aware of any action taken after that.
Priyadarshini Mattoo case: In 1996, Mattoo was found strangled to death in the bedroom of her South Delhi apartment with 19 injuries on her person. Santosh Kumar Singh, son of J.P. Singh, currently Inspector-General of Police, Pondicherry, harassed Mattoo in January and February 1995 and again in August, November and December that year by stalking her, telephoning her at her residence and at a hospital where her mother had been admitted, and stopping her car and shouting at her. Mattoo lodged police complaints against him, following which he apologised to her. She was provided with a personal security officer by the police on the orders of the Deputy Commissioner of Police, but Santosh Singh continued to harass her...and then she turned up dead! In 1999, the judge acquitted Santosh Singh, pointing to lack of evidence and inadequacies in the investigation. No news after that! Last heard, petitions were being signed to reopen the case!
Also, there are the more recent cases of Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath.
...and the list goes on. Now I have been only talking about the relatively well publicized cases. I am sure there are many cases which have not collectively merited even a column in any newspaper. Also, everyone knows about the direction that the Bofors investigation and the Tehelka case took, not to mention the Bhopal gas tragedy, the Narmada Bachao Andolan and so on.
The typical responses to these verdicts have been the same - our justice system sucks, our police are not equipped to conduct a scientific investigation, our cops are not paid enough, blah blah...and that is the end of the discussion. However, Shouldn't we be more proactive and work with people who are ensuring that justice is served to the affected parties? Shouldn't we demand for a reform of the judiciary and the penal code to ensure that the courts do not take 14 to 15 years to "realize" that the investigation was not carried out properly? I have not seen any petitions or movements to get this done. Please, if you know of any such agencies / organizations, let me know. I would like to participate in this noble cause.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
The Nightingale Sings...
Lata Mangeshkar's opposition to the Peddar road flyover has been in the news recently . A lot of vitriolic responses have already been posted in the main stream media and a few blogs too.
Now, I am neither supporting nor opposing her in this matter - for the simple reason that I do not know much about the project. However, I am certainly opposed to the acidic comments many people have directed towards her.
I believe that everyone has the right to voice his or her opinion. If there is some construction or activity that disturbs our peace at home, we do make sure that we voice our opinions and make it known to the perpetrators / authorities and (hopefully) convince them to stop it. The lady has done exactly the same - she has put forward her opinion that the flyover will affect her privacy and will disrupt her life! She also went on so far to say that if the flyover comes up, she will move out of Mumbai. Nothing wrong in this...It is entirely her prerogative to move to any part of the country or outside. It is also her right to express her reservations about any project.
But, it seems that she does not have this right. Judging by the kind of responses (ranging from asking her to get Central A/C in her flat or move out of the country), it would seem that she has committed some sort of blasphemy. Having personally undergone the torture of sweating it out in a traffic jam in Peddar road, I can sympathize with the commuters, but this certainly is not the way to react to a statement.
I do hope however, that the BMC and the government do not take a decision based on emotions of either side! They should evaluate the project in terms of the costs, the potential benefits (i.e. will it really improve the traffic conditions? If so, by how much?), the timeframe, the environmental impact etc. The project should be implemented IF AND ONLY IF it makes sense using the above criteria - and not because some celebrity has opposed it or that people are all for it!
Now, I am neither supporting nor opposing her in this matter - for the simple reason that I do not know much about the project. However, I am certainly opposed to the acidic comments many people have directed towards her.
I believe that everyone has the right to voice his or her opinion. If there is some construction or activity that disturbs our peace at home, we do make sure that we voice our opinions and make it known to the perpetrators / authorities and (hopefully) convince them to stop it. The lady has done exactly the same - she has put forward her opinion that the flyover will affect her privacy and will disrupt her life! She also went on so far to say that if the flyover comes up, she will move out of Mumbai. Nothing wrong in this...It is entirely her prerogative to move to any part of the country or outside. It is also her right to express her reservations about any project.
But, it seems that she does not have this right. Judging by the kind of responses (ranging from asking her to get Central A/C in her flat or move out of the country), it would seem that she has committed some sort of blasphemy. Having personally undergone the torture of sweating it out in a traffic jam in Peddar road, I can sympathize with the commuters, but this certainly is not the way to react to a statement.
I do hope however, that the BMC and the government do not take a decision based on emotions of either side! They should evaluate the project in terms of the costs, the potential benefits (i.e. will it really improve the traffic conditions? If so, by how much?), the timeframe, the environmental impact etc. The project should be implemented IF AND ONLY IF it makes sense using the above criteria - and not because some celebrity has opposed it or that people are all for it!
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